BLACK history month : ART

a moving, artistic depiction of the Middle Passage

I caught a GLIMPSE of him

A few nights ago, in the spirit of doing 'new things, in the new year' i threw caution to the wind. I met up with a fella i had been communicating with online. It was pretty spontaneous. Which means, it was pretty much, not my style *smile*. I had just worked out (and showered at the gym... YUCK) and finished a quick run to the market. He offered a few options, but I opted to meet in a parking lot of a restaurant.

The conversation was layered and varied. He was handsome and well spoken. I am not saying that i was struck by cupid, but I am saying .. I caught a GLIMPSE of him.

Its good to know that the DREAM is out there. That he still walks.. talks.. and sometimes buys you a cherry Freeze while he is picking up a combo at Krystals. (I know, ... Krystals,.... ewww, right? I thought the same thing;)

Make no mistake, I am not saying he was my dream man. I am not saying he was the IDEAL. Cause if i was saying that, this post would conclude with directions to our sunset wedding in Connecticut. So no, i aint saying he all dat. But what I AM saying is that--- he gave me what I needed at the beginning of twenty-twelve... He gave me a glimmer of the hope, just enough to let me know.. the IDEAL... DOES... EXIST ;)

lifeCLASS in session:

I think we all should do this. In this cold, cold world-- its so important to BE your own BIGGEST FAN. Real talk, no one can be in your corner, like you can. I know it sounds a bit self-centered, but if you dont place yourself on a pedestal.. who else will??

I once heard speaker , say "You have to be the rolemodel for how YOU should be treated." That statement resonates with me, and is reinforced everytime i repeat it to another person.

I joke all the time about being obsessed with the latest comic crossover, hottest real estate, or some dudes a** -- but believe me, above it all... I AM OBSESSED WITH ME!

#noshame

let the church say... AMEN

So its a new month full of new opportunities to be BETTER, STRONGER, & SMARTER than before.

This month is full of several new things for me. I am playing with a brand new computer (queue the church organ), i am in the midst of a new workout plan that has already yielded a change in my body (HALLELUJAH), and i am currently get acclimated to a new job (can i get a WTNESS!) Furthermore, i am approaching the end of the year with a new approach and action plan. I am TRULY excited.

To know me, is to know I love a new beginning. A gift that is handed to us everyday. These gifts are not limitless, so its important to cherish each and every one that is presented.

People ask me ...all day, every day.. why am I constantly smiling. Now, you know why :)

Happy October!

on my COFFEE table...

#progression

I have no idea how long this issue has been OUT (pun intended;) I really dont follow a lot of printed media, but this was such a welcome surprise on the magazine rack. NICE!!

A swing and a miss...

So i dated this dude a while back. At the time, I was young and up-n-coming and he was already well established brand. The relationship was atypical from the start.

Even though i consider our relationship to be one of my most valuable learning experiences, it wasnt all unicorns and rainbows. The man in question, we'll call him Trevor, was often controlling. I didnt mind him in the position of ALPHA male in our relationship (which is a small pun cause he was a QUE). I trusted his discussion making capabilities and i believe there needs to be a captain on every ship in order to ensure the destination is reached successfully. SIDENOTE: I tend to wear the captain's hat in most of my relationships, but hell.. i was a youngin then.

But alas, Trevor ended up breaking my heart.

Even with the heart-wrenching ending to our story, i often wonder -- was he my first/last chance. Was he my one chance at the whole 'picket fences' thing. He was truly the dude i envisioned bringing home for Thankgiving, raising adopted kids with, racing matching Range Rovers against, cuddling up next to after a long day of running our respective empires, and all with cute lil dog named Gonzo (#muppetbabylove). But, for reasons too murky to recall, we never reached the full potiential i knew we possessed.

A swing and a miss..

.... I just hope it wasnt my last chance at bat

Gooooo TEAM !!

While browsing the net, i came across a new feature on bgclive.com. Well, i rarely visit the site, so it was new to me \;) The new feature was an add-on to the profile page, where you could state your 'team.' The examples included #Team Beyonce, #Team Undercover, etc...

I found the idea interesting -- and thought, what about listing your 'team' and your position on the team... here is what i came up with..

Team Darkskin - President/ Co-Founder

Team Up and Coming - Vice Pres

Team Mogul - Wait-listed

Team Body 4 Days- Wait-listed

Team Nerdy- Secretary

Team Foreign Film - Member

Team Loud and Hood - *lip smackin* Member

Team Big BOOTY -- rejected *dayum that committee*

Team Underwearfetish -- Treasurer

Team Flexible - Wait-listed

hot off the PRESS...

Heading to the bookstore to pick up the latest from Terrance Dean. I became a fan of his recently from reading a short story he wrote in Visible Lives (the tribute book to E. Lynn). I consider his writing style to be effortless, with enough complexity to keep the reader interested. Plus.. you can never go wrong with a writer who can conceive a HOT sex scene ;).

"Mogul" hits bookstores today.

sloppy SECONDS..

Lately, i have been noticing an interesting trend. For some reason i am attracting all of this dudes. Not just any dudes, these dudes are ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, FINANCIALLY STABLE... heck... even the stroke game is on point (ummm.. i'm assuming ;) But with all said, these men come with a caveat- they are on their 'second life'.

'Second life' meaning that these dudes have been married, have kids, have led a nearly complete life with another person. Namely, wifey number #1.

No beef, but that leaves me slightly peeved. Why should i have to settle for sloppy seconds. I am not saying that a man with a layered past is 'dealbreaker' , but i am starting to feel a bit cheated.

Call me crazy, but i wanna be that crazy b*** that took all your stuff in the divorce. I am a "First Wives' Club" type of guy. With these dudes, all i can ever hope to be is number 2.

hmmm...i'll pass..

#teamGoldieHawn

its BEEN quite a while...

its been a while since... i have kissed lips and tasted my own cologne

since i have listened to fingertips sing a love song along the small of my back

slowed my breathe to match the rhythm of his

scrambled eggs for two

since i have had dayum-near arguments about the names of imaginary kids

since i have felt his presence amidst a crowd of people

took a nap, using his chest as a pillow and his heartbeat as my alarm clock

felt comforted by the his scent lingering on my skin

.. yea.. its been QUITE a while.

by Twisted Wing

success HABITS...

habits of SUCCESSFUL people... (p.5)...FINALE

41. They are happy to swim against the tide, to do what most won’t. They are not people pleasers and they don’t need constant approval.

42. They are more comfortable with their own company than most.

43. They set higher standards for themselves (a choice we can all make), which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.

44. They don’t rationalise failure. While many are talking about their age, their sore back, their lack of time, their poor genetics, their ‘bad luck’, their nasty boss and their lack of opportunities (all good reasons to fail), they are finding a way to succeed despite all their challenges.

45. They have an off switch. They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life and to have fun.

46. Their career is not their identity, it’s their job. It’s not who they are, it’s what they do.

47. They are more interested in effective than they are in easy. While the majority look for the quickest, easiest way (the shortcut), they look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.

48. They finish what they start. While so many spend their life starting things that they never finish, successful people get the job done - even when the excitement and the novelty have worn off. Even when it ain’t fun.

49. They are multi-dimensional, amazing, wonderful complex creatures (as we all are). They realise that not only are they physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. They consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.

50. They practice what they preach. They don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.

I NEVER WANTed anything from U...

except EVERYTHING you HAD... (and whatever else was left)

So... what does it take to GET/KEEP a good man? What is the magic word ... or ... magic d**k size... or ... magic bank account balance? According to today's urban radio playlist-- have the biggest ass, smallest waist, be the BADDEST. nothing related to the intellect or personality is neccessary... just be pretty on the surface.

It can be hard not to feed into the hype. Hard not to believe that something is wrong with me. Something is lacking. I mean.. and to compound the issue, i am surrounded by beautiful people-- i am surrounded by the BADDEST.

Upon a closer look... even the baddest dudes i know dont seem to have what I am looking for. I mean the few fellas i know that are in relationships, tend to be in a constant state of drama. (which is fine, when you are a sophomore in college, but completely unacceptable the moment u graduate)-- Just like the attraction that brought them together, the relationships themselves seem to be pretty superficial.

SO.. with all that said- what is the RESOLVE? ummm-- if I knew, i'd probably not have the time to climb from under MY MAN to write this.. *giggle*

SIDENOTE: I absolutely LOVE the pic posted above.. there is something so innocent.. hopeful about it. Whether female-male or male-male.. doesnt matter-- just extremely cute. Its currently my wallpaper...

reFLECTION

Occasionally i leave little pieces of me along the footprints i make on this earth... like bread crumbs, so i can find my way home.

These are the things that bring me BACK... no matter where i have drifted off to.

They are the songs that i rarely hear on the radio that make me feel like I AM invincible

(cause every super hero needs theme music)

They are the smell of grandma's cornbread

(one pan for me, one pan for the rest of the family)

They are the signature facial expressions and sounds i make when LIFE throws me a curve ball

(yes, i come with sound effects.. and kung fu grip)

They are any time I catch an episode of Sesame Street or just a sighting of Bert & Ernie

(somehow as a baby i just knew Bert and I had more in common, than just a rubber ducky... )

Its whenever I am near the ocean

(a lot of my A'HA moments during my teenage years came while sitting indian style on the Berkeley Marina)

It whenever i see my little brother smile

(doesnt happen often cause he all grown and thugged out, but whenever he does crack a smile - he reminds me of that lil bald-headed baby i met when i was eight)

It is sharing an inside joke with my god-sister

(which aint easy when your separated by 3 time zones and your lives are completely different, but EVERYTIME we talk i am reminded of why she is the family I LOVE and I CHOSE)

It is reading a old, OLD comics and eating red licorice

(and dont ask me why, but thats also a MAJOR turn on)

These are just a few of the bread crumbs i look for when I am feeling lost- and to this day, they have NEVER FAILED to lead me home.

We have all been told that "in life, it is important to know where you are going." And.. i get that. But life, real LIFE, will take you off your path in a heartbeat. So know your way back home.

Call me crazy, but every video game I have ever played- came with a RESET button.

#itjustgottoodeepforya

So know you way back home... and (press) START again.

its the FI-NAL countdown (circa 80's theme music)

Where has the time gone? In three months, 2010 will be throwing up the deuces and making room for 2011. At times like these, I tend to take stock on what i have (and have not) accomplished within the last year. The annual GOALS LIST moves from the desk drawer to the refrigerator door--- TIME TO PUT IT IN GEAR.

This year, unfortunately, I have several items that I have not made good on... but dont count me out yet. In high school i was notorious for writing 'A+' papers the night before the due date. Its not something I am proud of, but the good grades speak for themselves. I dont claim to THRIVE under pressure... but i DO NOT CRACK under pressure.

So I have a couple of very LARGE tasks populating my list, and right now it is slightly intimidating. Nothing that a winning lottery ticket couldnt fix...*giggles*... but in lieu, I will be budgeting harder and concentrating my focus. Which I am certain will make for an.... interesting... holiday season. Hmm.... i hope no one feels weird about receiving homemade macaroni-style xmas cards from a grown man...;)

Quote:

In the absence of a DEFINED goal, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia

- Author Unknown with an Epic TWIST (me)

Quote:

"Succeed in stepping stones. Never expect longevity overnight."

-Bre

Quote:

What we believe to be true about ourselves appears in our lives as our lives.

- Anonymous

LEARN how to..

...mingle with a MOGUL

Anyone that knows me, knows I am a fan of Jay-z (and his wife). Yea, the flow is MADDNESS and cannot be touched, but more that that- I AM A FAN OF THE BUSINESS MAN. This man is attacking multiple angles within the music game, but in addition to that he is running multiple business. He is constantly involved in real estate deals, and is a noted venture capitalist.

He is the embodiment of a goal of mine. It is my goal... umm, scratch that... it is my PLAN to have multiple streams of income. We all know that earned income is the most heavily taxed... DIVERSIFY your *-ish. Investments, real estate holdings, etc... As a member of the most powerful consumer community (and unfortunately the most under-represented), I am making sure to spend my money on something that works for me. Pass up the blu-ray for a blue chip stock.... SERIOUSLY.

Call me materialistic, but ummm.. when u hollar'd at me, I was peeping the key chain. Keys to an apartment building, or a house?.... remotes to a gated building, or a remote garage door? Tell me you are hearing me right now!

From 'button downs'....to french knots over 'button ups'. Step the game up.

this made me SMILE...

Gemini

Would you really prefer it if you had no problems? People who have an overabundance of positive aspects in their horoscopes often turn out to be lucky and lazy bums who never accomplish much. So I say, be thankful for the complications that are VISITING you. I bet they will make a man out of you if you're a woman, or a woman out of you if you're a man. As you do your best to solve the knotty riddle, you'll become better balanced and more versatile than folks who are rarely challenged.

*thanx Creative Loafing

Quote:

A job is not about making friends, its about making money and stealing office supplies. By the way, we're out of coffee filters...

-Ugly Betty